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The Men on My Couch: True Stories of Sex, Love and Psychotherapy, by Brandy Engler, David Rensin
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WHAT MEN WANT. WHAT MEN FEEL. WHAT WOMEN NEED TO KNOW.
When Dr. Brandy Engler opened her sex therapy practice for women in Manhattan, she got a big surprise. Most of the calls were from men. They wanted to talk about womanizing, porn addiction, impotence, prostitutes—and most of all, love.
Her patients were everyday guys from all walks of life. Among them were David, the Wall Street hotshot and compulsive womanizer; Charles, an introvert who kept pushing away the fianc�e he thought was too beautiful for him; Paul, the self-made man who visited massage parlors despite his sexy wife; and the men’s group whose stark revelations about male anger and their search for the right woman will open your eyes. In The Men on My Couch, Dr. Engler allows readers inside those private sessions to witness her exciting and evocative encounters with what men desire and fear.
Dr. Engler tells her own story, too. At first her patients’ revelations are painful and disconcerting, especially against the backdrop of her own difficult love affair. Yet Dr. Engler lets readers experience how she evolves both professionally and personally, from chagrin to compassion, and reconciles her idealized notions of love and sex with the unexpected and raw truths she hears in the office.
The Men on My Couch is unlike books you’ve read before. There are no tired facile conclusions or pejorative generalizations. Here are fresh insights into modern sexual maladies, gleaned from real people having real struggles and experiencing real epiphanies—in the real world.
This book will change how both women and men think about love, sex, and desire.
- Sales Rank: #136911 in Books
- Brand: Engler, Brandy/ Rensin, David (CON)
- Published on: 2012-12-31
- Released on: 2012-12-31
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.23" h x .80" w x 5.49" l, .53 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 304 pages
About the Author
Dr. Brandy Engler holds a doctorate in clinical psychology. She lives in Los Angeles, where she runs a private practice. She’s happily married.
David Rensin is the New York Times bestselling author and coauthor of fifteen books. He lives in Ventura, California.
Most helpful customer reviews
21 of 22 people found the following review helpful.
Is Sex In The Big Apple More "The Hunt Than The Sex?"
By James R. Holland
Now most folks would expect that this book was going to be a collection of those columns for sex advice that have graced both men and women's magazines for decades. Frankly, this excellent volume isn't about how to improve one's physical techniques. As one of the patients in this book pleaded, with the therapist-author "I don't think I even know what love is. What is love, really? Can you help me?"
The author had planned on becoming a sex therapist for women when she opened her office on Times Square. She soon found herself with all the male patients she could make time to counsel. Since Dr. Brandy Engler is a very pretty, blue-eyed knockout she immediately found herself the target of many of her patients. That helped her discover the real problems she encountered from her often high-powered, rich and movie star handsome clients.
In 13 chapters that may remind readers of books of the Bible because the chapters are mostly titled with the fake names of the author's male patients, the author allows her readers to see how she diagnoses the phobias of her patients. Not surprising, the physical problems they come to her for help with are just the symptoms of their much deeper anxieties and confusion. She includes her own husband's fake name in these chapters because she also discovers much about herself by learning how her patients see her and other women.
"The truth, I learned, is that men do want sex, but not just sex. Listening to my patients, I realized how strongly a need for deeper connection lay beneath the sexual behavior? A need that was often difficult to communicate to the women in their lives. From there it was a short step to better serving my patients by exploring the content of their hearts, rather than condemning what their penises had done."
This book doesn't solve all the sexual hang-ups of NYC, but it's a lot more truthful than the immensely popular (with women) television/movies "Sex in the City. "In other words it's not a book about fashion, shoes and good looks.
"The Men on My Couch" is not clinical. It's not self-help. There are no lists, exercises, or affirmations. It trusts you to read the stories and, taking from them what you want, make up your own mind. We all know too well that there are no pat answers about love. This book, then, is an exploration. My purpose is to take readers on the journey with me, in vivo, as I was learning myself. My hope is that this book will provide a new perspective on sexual and relationship dynamics, an alternative to readers? Particularly women? Because when I talk with my girlfriends about these subjects, we always get around to wanting to know what men really want, wanting to understand why they behave the way they do and what we can do about it."
This very, very readable book is filled with real people that most people will recognize from their own worlds. It's about fantasies and frustrations. Once the book is completed, the reader will at least feel like they have gained some insights into their own sexuality. The only minor annoyance with the volume is that the table of contents doesn't have page numbers to indicate the location of each of the chapters. The lack of an index also makes it difficult to refer back to earlier passages, but he book is a real eye-opener written in an easy to understand fashion. It's a winner in today's confusing world.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent Read
By CSaff
I ordered this book after reading an article about it on nypost. As a single woman in her mid-thirties, I figured I'd, at the very least, gain some insight into how men think/feel in relationships. This book far exceeded my expectations. I learned so much about the male subjects (whom resemble men we've all dated) through the stories Dr. Engler shared, about her personal love journey, and perhaps most surprisingly, about myself. This is not a self help book, but after reading, you'll no doubt start looking at and behaving differently in intimate relationships. I've recommended it to all my girlfriends and female colleagues. Every woman should own this book!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Amazing! A must read!
By Dawn Chandler
This is such and amazing book and I would like to express my deepest gratitude to Dr. Brandy Engler for writing in such a bold, beautiful and innovated way. I was indeed moved by the accounts you shared both clinically and personally. The perspective and insight you share with the readers is both encouraging and courageous. I have read many books over the years and It is rare that a clinician shares on the varies levels such as you have within this book. I have had the privileged to work with you and seen the transformation happen within you clients lives both men and women. It is indeed a honor to call you a colleague and may you continue to share your talents with the world..
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